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We cannot guarantee that we will be able to paddle the advertised rivers or beaches as weather, tides, flooding (including Storm Babet), spate, drought, no waves/12 foot waves, snow covered roads, iced over rivers, pestilence (OK it was a tummy ache), Covid-19 (all variants), amusement arcades, traffic jams, diversions, sheep herding, road closed to erect Christmas decorations, motorway services, fish and chip shop queues, lost keys, locked rooms, satnav malfunctions, map reading, Remembrance Day Parade road closures, missing tent poles / pegs / tents, lost paddles / boats / helmets / spray deck / boots/ cagoule / paddlers, late arrivals due to train / tube / bus / work / traffic jam / forgot trip was on, visits to A&E, unplanned major surgery, extended WC visit, slalom races, roof rack decay, etc. A few new ones turned up in India including exploding coach tyre, riverside cremations, landslides creating new rapids, leopards outside the loo tent, delhi belly, falling rocks, monkeys, snakes, border police checking travel papers every day, photo calls with every official and airport worker, moving 19 kayaks through airports, moving 35 people anywhere (cat herding), loading 19 kayaks onto very small truck, more delhi belly etc, are all beyond our reasonable control. All of the above can lead to alterations to the scheduled timings and in Club circles, this is referred to as “Phoenix Time”. “Phoenix Time + India Time” takes us to new limits! We will always attempt to make the best (and safest) resolution to a situation!


If you are involved in the shuttle, keep your car key securely attached to you in a waterproof container

Your car tailgate may not open fully with a boat on the roof – tell your forehead!

Re-tighten your roof rack fixings when there are boats on it!

Pack your kit bag as if you are getting dressed, ie last on, first in – then it will all be there when you need it!

Use Milton tablets to keep your flasks and drinks bottles clean

Always buy the best gear you can afford

Don’t forget your boat on the roofrack when passing under height restrictions!

(to be continued – send me your best ones)

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Phoenix Canoe Club Limited is a registered charity, no. 1148787 and a company limited by guarantee, registration no. 8002910.  Phoenix Canoe Club and Phoenix Outdoor Centre are trading names of Phoenix Canoe Club Limited.

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